COS crisis

I've recently reversed my decision to extend my Peace Corps contract.  The idea of adding on three months to my contract had originated from the  fact that I had automatically lost three months of my service due to the time it took to move to a new site and to having been put on medical hold.  I grew a bit envious when I witnessed the tight bonds that other PCVs formed with community members and how my ability to do this at my original site was cut short because of my abrupt displacement.  Integration into my new community was a bit more of a challenge than my first. I'm not certain whether it was because of the much larger population and quasi-metropolitan ambiance that this place exudes or because of my fatigue from moving that prevented me from feeling as tamana (at home) in Port-Bergé.

Oftentimes we are the first foreigner to ever reside in these places, therefore we are forced to win the trust and acceptance of community members before we are able to initiate projects.  I suppose I felt the need to buy time to solidify new relationships in my new town. Based on the level of activity that I witnessed here I felt the opportunities for work were endless.  I was ready to impart substantial change finally. My illness had interfered with my project from being completed smoothly.  I wanted another jab at the same project which I would have to wait another year to do.

However I place a much larger emphasis on my personal health which I've taken for granted.  I've realized that the medical resources I need simply can't be found here, even when there are excellent doctors, which frightens the hell out of me. I can rant on and on about horror stories found in some clinics here, but what's the point?   I can't afford to be evacuated to South Africa anymore, neither can the American tax payer.

And since I am no longer going to extend my service I am trying to weigh and seek out different options such as graduate school, travel, or work.  I am trying hard not to get lost in the web of online applications, resume building, and writing cover letters and open my eyes and realize I'm in flippin' Madagascar.